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WHILE DREAMS WAIT (ONE SHOT)
The soft hum of the air conditioner was the only sound competing with the rain drumming against the apartment's large windows. It was almost two in the morning.
Smart sat on the living room sofa, his elbows resting on his knees and his gaze lost on the screen of his phone. He had spent several minutes without scrolling through it, without really reading what appeared in front of his eyes. He simply held the device between his hands, as if hoping to find some answer there to a question he didn't even know how to formulate.
The exhaustion of an endless day weighed heavily on his shoulders, but it wasn't just that. There were days when fatigue disappeared after a hot shower and a few hours of sleep. Others, however, lingered inside him even when everything else came to a halt.
That night was one of those.
Boom appeared from the kitchen holding two steaming mugs of jasmine tea. He walked barefoot, with that silent lightness that always seemed to disarm any defense. He left one mug on the low table and sat next to Smart, close enough that their shoulders brushed.
—Stop thinking so much —he said softly, handing him the other mug—. You're going to overheat your processor.
Smart managed a faint smile.
—I'm not thinking.
—Oh, really? Then you've been staring at your phone for ten minutes because you find its turned-off screen fascinating.
Smart lowered his gaze to the device and let out a brief laugh.
—I was resting my eyes.
—Right. And I'm a very serious and responsible person.
—That last part nobody believes.
Boom gave him a gentle nudge with his shoulder, feigning indignation. Smart laughed again, this time a bit more, and for a few seconds the atmosphere seemed to recover its usual lightness.
It was those little nonsense moments that he appreciated most about being with Boom. He didn't have to prepare a witty response or worry about the impression he was making. He could laugh at anything, even when he didn't really feel like it. Boom found a way to get close without demanding that he immediately explain what was wrong.
Smart placed the phone face down on the table and wrapped his hands around the mug.
—You know what the worst part of having so many days off is? —Smart asked.
Boom tilted his head.
—What?
—That you get used to having me here and then you won't want me to leave.
Boom burst out into laughter.
—Pardon me! Who said I want you to leave?
—Nobody. But when my schedule gets packed again, you're going to miss me.
—Of course. Who is going to taste everything I cook and tell me I'm the best chef in the world?
Smart looked at him with an amused smile.
—Oh, really? You only love me for my ability to eat?
—No, honey. I also love you because you're handsome, charming, and you have an extraordinary boyfriend.
—How lucky I am.
—Exactly! You finally admit it.
Smart shook his head, amused, and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Boom smiled with satisfaction, as if he had just won a crucial argument.
However, as the laughter faded, Smart's expression gradually changed.
—Though, speaking seriously… —he murmured—, sometimes I don't know what to do with so many days off.
Boom watched him without interrupting.
—When I have a full schedule, I know where I'm supposed to be, what I have to prepare, what comes next. There are things to do and I simply do them. But when it all ends and I have several days ahead without knowing what follows… —Smart paused and searched for words—. I don't know. It's like I'm just left waiting.
—Waiting for what?
—The next thing.
The answer hung suspended between them.
Smart looked down at his tea. The vapor rose slowly and vanished before reaching his face.
—And I don't want you to think I don't enjoy what I do —he added—. Because I really do. I like to sing. I like to act. I like meeting the fans, listening to what they have to say to me, and seeing how happy they get when we can share a moment together. I truly like it.
—I know —Boom replied gently.
Smart raised his eyes toward him.
—But there are so many things I still want to do. So many roles I'd like to play, so many things I'd like to try with music. Sometimes I hear a song and imagine what it would be like to work on something like that. Or I watch a movie and think I'd love the opportunity to tell a similar story.
He smiled slightly, almost embarrassed to be confessing something that, in reality, he had been keeping to himself for a long time.
—I have ideas, Boom. I have the drive. There are days when I feel like I could do so much more than what I'm doing now.
—So you want to do more things.
—Yes, but it's not that simple.
Boom nodded slowly. He didn't try to contradict him or offer an immediate solution.
Smart leaned his back against the sofa and let out the breath he had been holding for a while.
—Sometimes I feel like my career has turned into waiting for the next event, going, doing what I have to do, and coming back home. Then the days pass and I wait again. And when something finally arrives, it ends so fast I hardly have time to process it.
He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more.
—And then I ask myself if this is all there is. If I'm going to keep doing the same thing for how much longer. If there's something I could be doing and I haven't even had the chance to try.
The rain hit the windows harder.
—I don't know if I'm making sense.
—Yes, you're making sense.
Smart looked at him, searching his expression for any sign that he was judging him. He didn't find any.
—I feel bad for thinking like this sometimes —he admitted—. I have a lot of things to be grateful for. I've met wonderful people, I've been able to work on things I love, and there are people who truly support me. I don't want to seem like someone who is never satisfied with anything.
Boom set his mug on the table and turned his body toward him.
—Smart, wanting more doesn't mean you don't value what you have.
He remained silent.
—You can be happy for everything you've achieved and, at the same time, want to discover just how far else you can reach —Boom continued—. One thing doesn't cancel out the other.
—I know. Or at least I try to remind myself.
—Well, you'll have to remind yourself a little bit more often.
Smart let out a soft laugh.
—How easy you make it sound.
—I didn't say it's easy. I said you have the right to want it.
Boom shifted sideways to face him directly. The dim light traced the soft angles of his face and revealed the fatigue he also carried in his eyes.
—I can't tell you when the opportunities you're waiting for will arrive —he continued—. I wish I could. But I can tell you one thing: don't stop believing in yourself, Smart. Don't let this phase make you forget everything you're capable of doing.
Smart kept looking at him.
—You are supremely talented. And I'm not telling you that because you're my boyfriend or because I want to make you feel better tonight. I'm telling you because I've seen you work, because I know how hard you try, and because I know that excitement that lights up inside you when you talk about something you truly want to do.
Boom brought his face a little closer to his.
—I know you still have many dreams to fulfill. I know there are things you wish you were doing right now and that you can't always control what happens with your career. I understand that hurts. But don't confuse this moment with everything you have left to live.
He paused and gently squeezed his hand.
—Maybe right now you're not where you'd like to be. Maybe things aren't moving forward as you expected. But that doesn't mean new opportunities can't come. I believe in you, Smart. I believe in what you can do, in everything you still have to show, and in that ability of yours to find something new that excites you.
Boom's voice grew softer.
—So, please, don't stop believing in yourself. Don't stop dreaming about everything you want to achieve. And when it's hard to remember why you started, when you feel like you're not moving forward or that your dreams are too far away, come to me. We'll talk about it as many times as necessary. You don't have to carry everything all by yourself.
Smart lowered his gaze. His fingers closed around Boom's, clinging to that contact as if he needed a few seconds to absorb what he had just heard.
—What if I get tired of waiting? —he asked quietly.
Boom caressed his cheek.
—Then we'll rest for a while. But I won't let you confuse being tired with not being capable of achieving what you want.
Smart let out a small laugh, though his eyes still reflected that sadness he hadn't managed to hide.
—You always have something to say.
—It's one of my top three traits.
Smart raised his eyebrows, amused.
—And what are the other two?
—My extraordinary beauty and my humility.
Smart burst out laughing.
—And where did you leave modesty?
—It's part of my charm, honey.
—How humble you are.
—And yet you're in love with me.
Smart smiled and leaned a little closer to him.
—Very much. Although I don't know how I'm going to endure so much arrogance.
Boom laughed and wrapped his arms around his waist.
—Of course I'm the best boyfriend in the world. I don't understand why you keep acting surprised.
—Oh, really? You're the best boyfriend in the world?
—Of course!
Smart shook his head, amused, and pulled him in to give him a kiss.
—All right, honey. I grant you that title.
—See? I knew you'd end up acknowledging it.
—Don't get too used to it.
—Too late.
Boom kissed him back, satisfied with his victory, and Smart laughed again.
However, when the laughter faded, Smart didn't pull away. On the contrary, he hugged him tighter and buried his face in the crook of his neck.
Boom stopped joking. He wrapped his arms around him and slowly rubbed his back.
—I love you —Smart murmured.
—And I love you.
—So much.
—I know, honey. But you can repeat it to me as many times as you want.
Smart smiled against his neck.
—How convenient.
—I'm a man who knows how to make the most of his advantages.
They remained embraced for a while, listening to the rain. Smart felt something loosen inside his chest. It wasn't that Boom had found an answer he didn't know. It was that, for the first time in a long time, he could talk about it without feeling like he had to defend his feelings.
—Sorry for getting like this —he muttered after a few minutes.
Boom pulled back just enough to look him in the face.
—Like what?
—I don't know. So thoughtful. So…
—Human?
Smart blinked, surprised.
Boom smiled sweetly.
—You don't have to apologize to me for having a bad day. Nor for feeling frustrated. Nor for not knowing what to do with everything you carry inside.
Smart looked at him for a few seconds. Then he rested his forehead against his and closed his eyes.
He had spent so long trying to find the right words that he hadn't realized how much he needed someone to tell him he didn't have to find all of them.
—Thanks for staying —he whispered.
Boom furrowed his brow slightly.
—Where else would I go at this hour? To open a restaurant?
Smart chuckled, and Boom smiled hearing him.
—I'm serious —Smart said, pulling him slightly closer in his arms—. Thanks for being here.
Boom's expression softened.
—You can always count on me, you know that, right?
Smart nodded.
—And you on me.
—I know.
Boom cupped his face in his hands and looked straight into his eyes.
—Listen to me, Smart. You don't have to be okay every single day. You don't have to prove to anyone that you can handle everything or force yourself to smile when there are things that hurt you. I know how much you want to do more, how hard you try, and how much your work means to you. That's why I want you to keep believing in everything you can achieve.
Smart felt his throat tighten. He looked down for a second, unable to hold that gaze without letting his emotions overflow.
—I don't want you to look back one day and feel like you stopped trying because things didn't turn out the way you expected —Boom continued—. You still have a lot to discover, many stories to tell, and many things you can offer the world. You are supremely talented, honey. I wish you could see yourself with the same eyes I see you.
He stroked his cheek with his thumb.
—I don't know when the opportunities you're waiting for will arrive, but I want you to have faith. Don't let this moment make you doubt everything you are. Your career isn't summed up by what you're doing today, nor does your talent disappear just because right now you don't have the chance to show it the way you'd like.
Smart listened to him without looking away.
—And if one day you feel like you can't take it anymore, come to me. If you want to talk, I'll listen. If you need to cry, I'll stay with you. If you don't want to say absolutely anything, that's fine too. You don't have to find the right words or pretend to be strong with me.
Boom brought his forehead close to Smart's.
—I believe in you. I believe in your dreams, in your talent, and in everything you can still become. And while you find your way to where you want to be, you don't have to walk the path alone. I'm here, Smart. I love you, and I'm going to keep reminding you how wonderful you are every time you forget it yourself.
Smart closed his eyes and rested his forehead against his.
For a few seconds he couldn't answer. Not because he had nothing to say, but because those words had reached a place he had been trying to protect for far too long.
—I love you —he finally managed to murmur.
Boom smiled and gave him a soft kiss.
—I know.
—No, you don't know.
—Then tell me again.
Smart let out a broken laugh and hugged him tight.
—I love you so, so much.
—I love you so, so much too, honey.
Boom stroked his hair and left a kiss on his forehead. Smart stayed in his arms, breathing slowly, letting the warmth of that embrace restore a bit of the peace he had lost during the past few days.
He didn't need Boom to promise him everything would turn out fine. He didn't need him to assure him that the next day he would receive a call with a new opportunity or that all his dreams would suddenly come true.
He needed to know that he could feel like this and still be loved.
And Boom had just reminded him of that.
After a while, Boom looked at the mugs they had left on the table.
—Our tea must be freezing.
Smart raised his head.
—You were the one who made it.
—Precisely. It breaks my heart to waste one of my masterpieces.
—It was tea, honey, not a five-course dinner.
Boom looked at him, feigning offense.
—You're not tasting anything I cook ever again.
—That's what you said last time and you ended up making me breakfast in bed.
—Because I'm the best boyfriend in the world. We already established that.
Smart laughed and kissed him again.
—Yes, chef. We already established that.
Boom smiled, satisfied, before picking up the two mugs. Smart got off the sofa and followed him to the kitchen. They left the mugs in the sink, turned off the living room lights, and walked together toward the bedroom.
The rain kept falling, though with less intensity.
When they reached the bed, Smart settled next to Boom and pulled him against his chest. Boom rested his head on him, wrapped an arm around his waist, and searched for his hand beneath the covers.
—Are you feeling better? —he asked quietly.
Smart thought for a few seconds before answering.
—A little.
—I'm glad.
—Although I still have a lot of things to think about.
—I know.
—And I still don't know what I'm going to do with all of that.
Boom intertwined his fingers with his.
—You don't have to decide right now.
Smart looked down at their joined hands and smiled.
—Have I told you that you're the best boyfriend in the world?
Boom raised his head immediately.
—Pardon? Can you repeat that? I think the exhaustion is affecting my hearing.
Smart burst out laughing.
—Good night, Boom.
—Smart!
He pulled him close and gave him a one last kiss, cutting off any protest.
—I love you —he murmured against his lips.
Boom smiled before settling back into his arms.
—I love you too.
The room fell silent. Smart absently stroked his hair, listening as his breathing began to grow slower.
He watched him for a few seconds. He thought about everything he still wanted to do, the opportunities he hoped to find, and the questions he didn't know how to answer. They hadn't disappeared. They were still there, waiting for the moment he would have to face them again.
But Boom was there too.
The person he could talk to about his dreams without having to pretend it didn't hurt not achieving them yet. The one who could make him laugh when he barely had the strength to smile. The one who didn't need to offer him solutions to remind him he wasn't alone.
Smart rested his cheek on his hair and closed his eyes.
He didn't know when the next opportunity would arrive. He didn't know what projects would come, what songs he would sing, or what stories he would have the luck to tell.
But he knew he wanted to keep trying.
And while he did, he didn't have to walk the path unaccompained.
Outside, the rain lost its intensity until it became a distant murmur. The city lights continued to shine behind the windows, indifferent to the small world that existed inside that room.
There were no schedules to keep, no cameras to look at, and no smiles to offer anyone.
Only the two of them, the warmth of an embrace, and the peace of not having to be anything else for a few hours.
Because sometimes the world wouldn't stop demanding.
Sometimes dreams took longer than expected.
And sometimes, even when one deeply loved the life they had chosen, they needed a place where they could admit that it hurt, too.
Smart had that place.
And he had Boom.
For that night, that was enough.
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